Friday, December 4, 2009

A Mental Mind Fuck Can Be Nice

It was Tuesday afternoon. I was home playing some weird porn videogame from Korea. You strap your game controller to a lubricated fuckstick so that when you jack off, it fucks girls in the game. The goal is to bring as many to orgasm as you can without losing your erection. My record was 12 girls, and I was trying to "beat it." It's not easy, because the girls keep getting sexier voices, and bigger and bouncier tits the farther you get. Anyway, the phone rings. The game won't let you pause, because that's like cheating. So, fuck it, I answer, and keep banging the fuckstick.

"Yeah?" I grunted.

"Uh, hi... is this Lambert?" It's some chick.

"Yeah." More grunting.

"Yeah... My name is Serena, I'm a friend of Rachel's."

So what? I think. Pump, pump, pump.

"Yeah, I don't know how to ask this. I met you at a party last year, you probably don't remember me... "

"No." The girl on the screen is getting fucked doggy style, and her tits are bouncing back and forth as she moans.

"Yeah, well, Rachel's told me a lot about you." She sounded kind of cold and pissed off.

"Yeah?" Ha... I bet she hasn't told you everything.

"Rachel says that, uh, you're into kinky stuff."

Okay... now this one has my attention. The girl on the screen suddenly howls with ecstasy, and I've beaten my record. Panting, I say, "What did you have in mind?" and flip off the game.

"My God, are you fucking someone right now?" I guess I had the TV pretty loud. "Anyway, I'm looking for help with something very special."

"How special?"

"You'll see when you get here. Come by at ten tonight. 540 Barnswallow Road, Apartment 6."

"Hm. Maybe." I hung up.

What the hell was this? Some kind of weird trap? A joke? Some crazy bitch? I better call Rachel. I dial, she picks up.

"Rachel, it's me, Lambert."

"No Lambert. Not today." That's Rachel, right to the point.

"As much as I love your sweet pussy, it's not what I'm calling about. I'm calling about your friend's pussy. Some chick named Serena."

"Serena? Ha! Good luck with that! She hates men!"

"She's a dyke?"

"Ha! No way! Serena's not patient enough for men or women. That girl only gets off on machines."

"Like, vibrators?"

"Ha! She stopped using vibrators when she was fourteen. Her whole life is like some scientific quest for the perfect orgasm. She has, I don't know, all kinds of gadgets and contraptions. Robot ass hamsters, psychedelic stimulators, nipple massagers, stuff I've never heard of. What does she want with you?"

"She says you told her about me, and she needs someone for something very special."

"Well, unless you are some kind of cyborg, I can't imagine what she... Oh shit... wait."


"Oh, shit. I remember her talking about this. She talks endlessly about her crazy orgasm machines. Lambert, don't go."

"What? Why not?"

"She's fucking crazy. She's going to want you to do something that might kill her."

"What, some asphyxiation deal?"

"Oh, shit no. She eats autoerotic asphyxiation for breakfast. Oh fuck, Lambert, just don't go over there. She's crazy. She's totally emotionless, she's not even hot. And if you kill her, you'll get the chair. It won't be worth it."

"What are you gonna do to stop me?"

"Ha!" she laughed. "Ha, ha. Like I could stop Lambert Devine from fucking something. Like that time you just *had* to fuck the cow *and* the milking machine. You're lucky you got to keep your dick. Anyway, whatever. You wanna kill that crazy bitch, that's your business."

What the fuck? I hung up. Sounds like some strange shit. Probably something with knives, maybe she's a cutter. I don't want any part of that. Anyway, I was pretty tired, and after a few minutes of TV, I fell asleep. Pretty soon, I'm having some weird dream where my arms and legs are cramping, and I can't move. Slowly, I start to wake up, and what the fuck?! I'm naked, tied to some kind of wooden torture board, spread eagled against the wall in some dark place that smells like lube and machine oil and... cinnamon? I hear clicking at a keyboard. My head is pounding, and I grunt a little.

I hear Serena's voice from behind some stacked electronic equipment. "Oh, good, you're awake."

"What the fuck is going on here?" I shout at her, through my grogginess.

She walks over where I can see her. She's a short girl, mid twenties, maybe, short brown hair, oval horn rimmed glasses, a little plump. She seems to be wearing just a bathrobe. "Hi Lambert," she says, kind of coldly. "Sorry I had to do this. I heard your phone call with Rachel."

"What? How?"

"I'm a hacker. I figured you might call someone, so I tapped into your phone. I've been listening to your calls for a week or two, trying to figure out if you were dangerous, or just a pervert. You're just a pervert."

"Well, what the hell! So you kidnapped me?"

"Rachel doesn't know what she's talking about. I've been planning this for a while, and I need to get fucked tonight."

"Yeah, I know how that is."

"Yeah, I doubt it. See, the female ovarian cycle has overlapping subcycles. The peaks align only once every thirty-six months. Tonight is my peak orgasm opportunity for another three years."

"Is your plan to bore me to death?"

"No, the plan is for you to bore me almost to death."

"What? What the hell? Am I supposed to operate some machine? How can I do that if I'm tied up?"

"No, believe me, if a machine could do this job, I'd let it. But it's too dangerous, and it won't be pleasureable enough."

"Ah, I get it. You just need a good old fashioned fucking. Well, bitch, have no fear, I'll pound you into the ground. You didn't have to tie me up for that."

"Ha. You're cute. No, I've had men and women pound me in every hole, but I found out long ago that machines do a much better job at fucking a pussy."

"So... If I'm not going to fuck your pussy, then, what, anal sex?"

"No, neural. You're going to fuck my brain."

"What the hell are you talking about? Some cybersex bullshit?"

"No, Lambert. I need you to fuck my fourth hole. See, the clit and the g-spot have a lot of pleasure nerves, but they are far away from where the real action happens. The real action happens in the brain. You're going to fuck my data port."

Oh shit. I'd heard there were people out there who had surgery that let them jack their brains right into computers and the Internet and all that. Mostly jet pilots who needed to control planes with tremendous precision. But I'd heard there were people who did it for fucked up reasons, too.

"See, I've programmed my dataport to connect all the surface brain nerves to the pleasure centers of my brain in the nucleus accumbens. Combine the multitude of short neural pathways with the active pheromones from a real human cock, on the evening of peak overlap..." She was talking faster now. She seemed kind of excited, in a cold, emotionless way. "... and you get the greatest orgasm a human could possibly experience."

What the hell is she talking about? "So, I'm going to fuck your computer?"

"No, stupid. You're going to fuck this." She turned around, flipped up her hair in the back, and bent her head down. In the back of her head, in the middle of her skull was a silver ring. She did something and it sphinctered open, and I could see pink and white stuff glistening within. Holy shit. This girl was insane.

"Close that shit! It's like looking at an open wound! You're crazy! First of all, Rachel's right -- that would kill you, and I'd be stuck with a murder rap. Second of all, I can think of nothing less appealing than sticking my dick into your cyberhole. And third, I don't know, but get me the hell out of here."

She closed the skull sphincter and dropped her hair back down, and turned around and smiled. It was the creepiest smile I've ever seen. "Rachel doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. I had brain surgery when I was a kid. I lost some emotional parts, and I lost my corpus collossum. So, there's just enough room in there for your cock, I've measured. I'm not the kind of person who has mistakes in her plans. The brain surgery left me kind of ... detail-oriented. I can't feel a lot of the pleasures in life, like laughter, or the taste of food, but there is one pleasure I feel deeply."

Yeah. That's crazy talk. I know crazy talk when I hear it. "Well," I said, "That doesn't change the fact that I can't fuck you without a boner, and there is no way I'm getting one thinking about fucking the inside of your head." I looked down at my limp cock.

"You would have a point," she said, "but you forgot one thing." She flicked a switch that cast a pinkish-orange light on her, and dropped her bathrobe to the floor. "You're a man." She put her hand on her hips, stuck out her chest, bit her lip, and tilted her hips. She was, without a doubt, a foxy chick. Her tits alone were giving me a boner. She sidled over, and started to rub her chest against mine, breathed hot breath on my neck, and gently glided her fingertips over my cock and balls. "You know you want me," she whispered. "Every man wants to make a woman happy. Won't you make me happy, Lambert?" She said in a little girl voice. She grabbed onto special handholds on the wall, and flipped the board back, so it was like I was lying on a table. She straddling me. The lighting made her look even sexier than she already was. She brought her pussy up near my face. "Smell that, Lambert. It only smells that way once every three years." The smell of her wide open pussy filled my nostrils, and damn if she wasn't right. I never smelled anything that made me so horny. "Go on. Have a taste." She put it right in my face, and so, I figured, what the hell? Maybe this is all a tease, and she just wants a regular fuck. These nerd girls are into all kinds of mind games. Some motorized thing in the table tilted my head back, at the perfect angle for eating her pussy, and for looking up at her tits as she straddled my face, so I got down on it. "oooo..." she said, "that's good. Trust a perv to know how to eat pussy." I stayed there for a while, because the scent and taste of her pussy were mind-blowing, like eating ten pussies at once. She started to puff and moan, and the table started to bounce my head in some kind of rhythmic way, and I felt her clench for an orgasm. Her body was starting to glisten a little with sweat now. "Woooff," she said, "you're not bad at this." Now she turned her attention to my cock. "Oh yes," she said, "let's see what it's like having this inside me..." she turned around, and putting her belly against my chest, she leaned over putting her pussy in front of my face again, just upside down this time. That motor thing in the table lifted my head up again at the right angle to eat her pussy, and she inhaled my cock. I don't know exactly what she was doing down there, but it felt like a scientifically precise blow job. The table motor pressed my face back into her cunt, and I started licking again. I could feel another motor under my ass slowly, rhythmically pumping my cock into her mouth, too. I mean, I've done sixty-nine hundreds of times, and usually it's kind of hard on the neck and the back. This was like sixty-nining an angel on a cloud while another angel massaged your balls. After what seemed like an infinite, delicious eternity, I realized I was going to come, and so was she. I came deep into her throat, and she jerked her pussy around, smearing it all over my face. "Whew..." she said, sitting up. "Not bad. Ingesting semen activates female erogenous zones, you know. And I can tell, you've got even more in you." My cock was definitely flagging at this point, but she rubbed her breasts in my face, and as I sucked them, my cock hardened again. "Ooooo.... that's nice," she said, sliding some kind of metal ring over my cock, and then and slid her pussy on top of me, as the motor under my ass tipped me up into position. There were special indentations in the tables for her knees, and special handgrips that she was hanging onto, as she started to fuck me on top like some kind of wild woman. The motor under my ass was making me buck like a mechanical bull in this 1, 2, 3, slam, 1, 2, 3, slam kind of motion. Damn, I had to get one of these things. As she bounced and pounded on my cock, her tits and hair bouncing wildly, she had her eyes clenched tightly closed, and she seemed to be doing some kind of breathing exercise. She was also squeezing her cunt in rhythm with the table in some way that made her pussy feel incredibly tight. Just then, that metal ring, which had slid to the base of my cock started to buzz wildly, so that every time my cock pushed to the back of her vagina, she got a buzz on her clit. Damn. This chick was crazy.

"Okay," she said, continuing to ride my cock, hard, "we've... had... enough... foreplay... I'm... primed...." the motors pumping me into her (not that I needed the motors to want to fuck this pussy) slowed to a stop. She climbed off of me, and off the table, and grabbed my cock, and then pulled out a fucking *ruler* to measure it! "Yes... yes, that's perfect." She put the ruler aside, and pulled some lever that flipped the table back against the wall, so that I was vertical again. We were both still breathing hard from the fucking, and I was frustrated by this coitus interruptus. On the floor, between my legs, was some weird machine. It took me a minute to recognize it as some kind of modified "sybian", like I'd seen in porn videos... some kind of electronic cock for women to ride. She climbed on top of it, putting her pussy lips against the tip of its nubbed surface. There were special handholds on the wall to the far left and right, that looked new, like they'd never been used. She grabbed these, So that now I was looking down at the top of her head as she squatted over this fucking machine. The handholds made her arms spreadeagle, which pushed her tits out to maximum advantage. She looked up at me. "Lambert, I've prepared for this a long time. It means a lot to me. Fuck my brain, okay?"

I don't know what came over me at that moment. She was like some lost little girl. "I...I will," I said. I heard a click, and the handholds closed over hands tightly, pulling her back against my thighs, and the sphincter on the back of her head slid open. She positioned her head in place, and the motor that had been driving me all night thrust my already lubricated cock into the hole in the back of her head at the same moment that she sunk down onto the sybian. I could see that she had wires everywhere, and some computer was monitoring everything that was going on. The inside of her head was incredibly hot, and her brains squeezed against my cock like nothing I'd ever felt. I could feel the folds of her brain tissue rubbing against my cock as it slid in and out, pushing through the space between the two halves of her brain. Her mouth was open wide, as if in horror, and with each thrust, her eyes would bug out of her head in a way that should have been horrifying, but somehow I found it incredibly erotic. She was breathing incredibly hard, and a low sound started to come from her, like the single note of a musical instrument. I kept pumping like mad, and the moan, or whatever, got louder and louder, turning into some kind of scream, and her whole body started to tense and vibrate in some kind of seizure. I could feel my cock banging into the front of her skull again and again, as her neck bounced her head back against my cock, faster and faster. Suddenly her moan got so high pitched I couldn't hear it anymore as the sybian pounded at full blast, and she slammed her head back against my cock so hard that her eyeballs were pushed almost entirely out of her head, and every muscle in her body tensed up as I came into her frontal lobe.

The handholds released, and she collapsed onto the floor, a long strand of some weird bloody goo stretching from my cock down to the gaping hole in the back of her head. As I panted and trembled, I looked down at her limp body, sure that she was dead, and realizing that, pinned to the wall here, I was trapped, and would surely fry for this.

Then, suddenly, I saw her body give a little tremble, and start to move. "Guh... buh...." she said, and fell, trying to get up. With some effort, she rolled over, and looked up at me. I could see my cum leaking from her eyeballs like tears.

With great difficulty, she said, "Thank... you... Lambert."

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Visiting Rachel

It had been a long time since I'd been with Rachel. Used to be, me and Fred would hang out with her all the time, since we all loved drinking and fucking, and it was a wonderful relationship. But then she started getting serious with what's his name, Jerome, and she told us to get lost. Hey, no biggie. There's a world full of pussy out there, and the great thing about Rachel is that she doesn't jerk you around. She might jerk you off while she crams an electric eel up your ass, but she won't jerk you around.

So, when she called to tell me that Jerome left, she made it damn clear what she wanted, and I figured I owed her one after that mess Fred and I made at the candy factory. So, after that high school fuck party started winding down (I think I came the same time as big Juliet -- which isn't a surprise, I've been practicing), I drove over to Rachel's.

When I got there, I brought a bottle of vodka in with me. That girl likes vodka. I didn't ring the bell, because I know what she likes when she's depressed. I just kicked the door open, slammed it and locked it behind me, and marched into the living room. She was slumped on the couch, watching some daytime TV bullshit. She barely looked up. "Hey, Lambert." "Shut up, bitch," I said, "I'm here to fuck you."

She got irritated. "Damn it, Lambert, lay off!" Ha. I knew better. We've played this game too many times. I took a swig of the vodka, and spit some of it on her, then bent down and slapped her face. "That's no way to talk to the one with the cock," I said. "I suggest you shut up and get ready to blow me." She jumped up, and swept my feet out from under me, so I landed on the floor, hard. Then she straddled my chest, and slapped me hard. "You fucker!" she shouted. You don't know what the hell I've been through! You don't know what that bastard did to me!" She looked really mad. But I know how Rachel works. This is how she takes out her aggression. "Did he fuck you up the ass? Because that's what I'm going to do!" and I spit in her face. She slapped me, and slapped me again, and then kissed me, violently, writhing against me. "Quit that," I said, unzipping my pants, "and suck on this." And she did. God damn, that girl gives a good blow job when she's mad. Fortunately, I could still reach the vodka, so while she worked my cock, I took a pull at the bottle. I let her go a minute or two more. She kept angrily slapping my ass and thighs while she worked it, and some times did nasty things with her teeth. She also liked to flick my balls with her fingers, hard. Usually, I took that as a cue. I stood up, and she didn't break suction with my cock at all. I grabbed her hair, and pulled her head back. I could see that she was crying. "Oh, boo hoo," I said, "You want to cry, oh, you're gonna cry. Get those clothes off." "Fuck you!" she shouted. "No, bitch, fuck you. Take off those clothes." She glared at me, and peeled off her yellow T-shirt. She didn't bother much with a bra. Her amazing rack was in full view, with that awesome rainbow dragon tattoo that went from her shoulder and wrapped all around her right breast. She kicked off her jeans, and as soon as she had one leg out, I grabbed the jeans, and pulled them so she fell on all fours, and I pounced on top of her, and spitting on my cock, rammed it into her asshole. Normally, that wouldn't be enough lube to do the job, but I had just gotten done fucking little juliet not 20 minutes ago, so I still had a fresh coating of Rachel's special lube. She roared with anger, and kept trying to hit me, and I just kept ass-raping her. "You bastard!" she shouted! "You mother fucking bastard! I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I could see it really hurt her, by her white knuckled grip on the carpet, and the way she kept flexing her feet. But I just kept reaming away. She started screaming, and crying and pounding the floor. She either didn't have neighbors in this apartment, or they were deaf. I always wondered, but no one ever said anything. Damn, I missed fucking Rachel. I was so happy to be holding those hips again, and smelling her hair. She kept punching me in the leg, and trying to reach back to claw at my balls. As I pounded that tight ass, she started screaming in rhythm. "You... fucking... bastard... fucking... men... are... all... alike... you... FUCKING... BASTARD!" She was really crying now, violently and out of control, her sobs tightened her ass, which gave me intense bursts of pleasure, but I knew that when she stopped fighting that I should slow down, so I did. She was crying so intensely, that I started to pull out, when suddenly her asshole tightened around my cock like an anaconda... "don't.... you... dare..." she growled, and she meant it.

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?" It was Fred. With all the screaming and pounding, neither of us heard him come in. "Looks like some kind of slut that needs fucking." He dropped his pants, and started smacking her face with his cock, "Huh, bitch? Isn't that right? You want this, don't you?" Without a word, she started sucking on Fred's cock, while I continued a rhythmic fucking of her ass. Fred and I settled into our familiar rhythm, and he winked at me. She kept sucking his cock, and he slapped her. "Do it better, bitch." She started deep throating him, and making horrifying guttural noises, like she was going to choke. This went on for a while. Finally, Fred pulled his cock out of her mouth, and took a pull on the vodka bottle. He put his foot under her chest, and lifted her up, and back onto me. I was leaning back against the couch now, and still fucking her ass. She leaned back, putting her weight on me, but had her knees up, and legs spread, so that Fred got a good look at that sweet pussy. "Would you look at that," he said. "The cunt of a filthy slut." He poured vodka down onto our faces, and we opened our mouths to drink it. The cold vodka ran down her face, and he spashed some onto her tits, the cold sting making her nipples even more tightly erect. He took one more big swig from the bottle, got down on his knees, and then slid his cock into her. She gasped as he did it, and I could feel Fred's cock slide in on the other side of her vaginal wall. Fred and I both started to pump madly into her. Rachel was done crying now, and just had her eyes closed and mouth open, overwhelmed by pleasure, pain, and the pressure of the two of us squeezing against her. She wrapped her arms around Fred, fucking him for all she was worth, while I kept on pumping, pumping, pumping into her ass. Soon she was moaning, and we started hammering her faster and faster, until she started to let out sharp little screams sounding like "aa! aa! aa! aa!" We'd done this enough times to know what was next. We all worked and adjusted our timings so that the three of us came at the same time -- her squeezing both of us with all her might, and both of us spurting come into her as deeply as we could manage.

Fred leaned back, sweaty and exhausted. I pulled my cock out of Rachel, and she slumped on the floor and cried some more. Little sobs now, like a sad little kitten. Then, she got up, whirled around and punched me in the jaw, and then punched Fred in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Then she sat her naked ass on a folding chair by the table, leaking come all down her legs, and took a long swig from the vodka bottle. "Shit," she said, "it's good to have friends that understand you."

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Little Juliet

We all do some things we're not proud of. One of mine is following high school girls. I've been out of that place for years, but damn, some of those girls are just so hot, I always find myself driving by when school lets out, to check out the new talent. I like all the girls, but it's the hardcore sluts that fascinate me the most. Every year, there a few girls who "discover" the wooded area behind the school, which is a place that high school kids have been fucking probably since the beginning of time. I practically owned that place when I was sixteen, but now I just spy on it. There is an old dirt road that leads to it the other way, where I can park my convertible, and get a good look at that filthy old matress if I bring my binoculars. And there is this one girl, damn, who is back there every Friday, each time with some different guy. She's made quite a business of it -- she takes the cash up front, but damn, then she fucks their brains out. There are lots of whores who are just doing it for the money... not this chick. She LOVES getting fucked, and I love watching her do it.

So, one Friday, I pull my old convertible into its regular spot at 2pm. School lets out at 2:05, and I know that she'll be there at 2:10, no doubt. I'm already hard just thinking about watching her, so I loosen my belt, and start rubbing my cock. I don't want to get ahead of myself, so I crack open a fifth of Jack Daniels, and take a few hits while I wait. Like clockwork, there she is. She's got bright orange hair, in long floppy ringlets, going halfway down her back. She's got these big sunglasses, and is wearing a red skirt, and some kind of school jacket. She's leading some nervous looking tenth grader -- a skinny kid who can barely fill out his brand new varsity jacket. She seems to have a thing with guys from the basketball team, but I've seen her out there with all kinds of guys. I'm not sure why it's only on Fridays, but I don't ask questions. She's showing him around (not that there's much to see... that old matress, a beat up lawn chair, and some old beer cans in a grove of trees and bushes) She gives him a big kiss, and wraps her body around him, writhing seductively. This is her signature move, and I love seeing it, every time -- she does it right before my favorite part -- the negotiation! I don't know what she tells these guys -- but whatever price she gives them beforehand, she always raises it now. She never mentions the price until she's given that big kiss and felt their erection. I mean, I can't hear from so far away, but you can tell just by looking. The guy always acts surprised, and starts to act like he's going to go, and then she turns away, and says something... I used to wonder what, but then I figured it out. She leads them out there with the promise of a blow job, then raises her price to the breaking point, and just as they are teetering on the edge, she turns away, and says, "I'll let you fuck me..." and that changes everything. And it does now. The nervous kid freezes in his tracks, and his eyes widen a little. "Oh....okay," he says, and she turns around gleeful, and coy, and takes all the money he has in his wallet. This little ritual over, the show begins. She sits him down in the lawn chair, and starts stripping down. It's exciting to watch her work, because she loves doing it so much. She starts by kicking off her shoes, and putting her sunglasses aside, and then, knowing that high school boys care way more about tits than ass, she turns away, and unbuttons her shirt. Underneath she has a purple lacy bra that looks great against her porcelain skin. She faces me as she puts the shirt aside, with her back to the kid, and takes a deep breath, to stick her chest out. Then she whirls around, with a flip of her hair, and points her chest right at him. They exchange some words. She's probably saying, "What do you think?" Because the guy always makes some nervous reply. And he should be nervous, because that is one serious rack on that girl. It's a balcony you could do Shakespeare from. Heh -- that's why I call her what I call her: Juliet. Anyway, Juliet is assuming her sexiest stance on the matress, while he shifts uncomfortably in the chair, and then she blows his mind. Quick as a wink, she flips her arms back to unhook her bra, and shakes it off, holding in high in her right hand, giving him a full view of her boobs. And this time, (like every time!) his eyes go wide as saucers. She says a few more things, and gives a seductive wiggle. Then she wiggles right out of her skirt and panties, and goes right up to him. Hands on either side of the lawn chair, she puts her tits to his face, and makes his dreams come true. From where I am I can see her bent over his chair, and I think how nice it would be to mount her from behind. But before long, she crouches down, slowly, and undoes his belt, takes out his cock and starts to give him the blowjob of his life. That's not saying much, since it's almost surely the first blowjob of his life, but I can see in his face that if he died right now, he wouldn't mind so much. She bobs that head over his cock to beat the band. I have a huge erection, but haven't touched myself yet, because I know what's coming. I take another swig at the JD, though, and take out my "vagina-in-a-bottle". This is some weird sex toy that Rachel brought me back from Japan. It looks like a flashlight, but when you screw off the top, there is a soft rubber vagina inside. I don't always use it when I jack off -- lately I save it only for when I'm watching Juliet in action. While Juliet keeps sucking that kid's tool, I lube up "little Juliet" with a little bottle of "Rachel's special lube". I don't know what the hell is in it, but it smells like cotton candy, and makes the rubber pussy feel like a real pussy, if a real pussy could give you little electric shocks. It's hard to describe, but it's awesome.

Anyway, the show continues, like it always does. That girl keeps on sucking and sucking like a machine, until the boy starts lurching with orgasm, and to her credit, Juliet always swallows every drop. I used to wonder why, but now I think I get it -- she likes to get one bullet out of the chamber so that she has a better chance of being fucked to orgasm on the second go round. I'm not sure I've ever seen a high school girl who loves being fucked as much as this one does.

So, the guy is clearly exhausted, and nervous, but Juliet pulls her head up from his cock. Licks her lips, and smiles at him. She pushes his head back and gives him a deep kiss, and I can see from his slight revulsion that she has given him a "snowball", or at least part of one. I guess she didn't swallow it all. He's not sure what to do now... but she is. She slides his pants down, unties his shoes, and standing him up, peels his shirt and jacket off his body, so he's as naked as she is. She kisses him and rubs him until he is hard again, which at his age, doesn't take long. Then, she lies him down on the matress, and sucks him a little more. When she thinks he's hard enough, she climbs on top of him, with this cat that ate the canary smile. And this is the moment I wait for. Just as she lowers her pussy down onto his cock, I'll slide "little Juliet" onto mine. The viewing angle is absolutely perfect. His head points toward me, and his feet point away, and I know I'll be able to see every bounce of those amazing tits as she fucks her way to ecstasy. And damn, you can tell that she loves this part. Most days, even though they are pretty far off, I can hear her moans of pleasure through the woods.

But not today. No, today was different. Today, at the key moment, my phone rings. Normally, I don't even carry the thing, and when I do, it's not on. And when it rings, I normally ignore it. But, I don't exactly want to get caught here in the woods with my pants around my ankles, spying on underage kids. So, I answer it quick, whispering an irritated "what?"

"Lambert? This is Rachel. Why are you whispering? You sound like the sex offender you are."

"Do you need something, Rachel? I'm kind of busy." Fortunately for me, there has been some kind of incident down on the matress... I think it's someone's first time putting on a condom, so I haven't missed my favorite moment.

"Yeah, well, it's Jason. We had a fight, and he's gone."

"Like, gone down to the corner gone?"

"No, like on the plane to Australia to visit his other woman gone."



"So, what do you want from me? I hope it's not a shoulder to cry on, because you know I'm not good at that sensitivity bullshit."

She laughed. "Hell, no. Do you take me for some kind of idiot? Tell my troubles to Lambert Devine? The most uncaring man on this planet, or any other? No, Lambert, I have girlfriends for that sissy stuff. Tonight, I want to get drunk, and get fucked, and I know I can count on you for both."

I looked down at my erect cock, at "little Juliet", and sighed at the sight of big Juliet -- some strange turn of events had happened down on the matress. Juliet was standing up, legs spread, and the boy was on his knees. One of her hands was on his shoulder, and the other was rubbing her tit, and he was licking her pussy as she panted and clenched her teeth.

"Rachel, you have the distinction of being the only woman who understands me. I'll be right over."

But first, of course, I fucked little Juliet til I came like a tenth grader.

Friday, October 2, 2009

A Taste of Chocolate

I don't understand how these things happen, they just do. I woke up one Saturday at about two in the afternoon, and was hanging around in bed, pulling my pud. The phone rings, and it's Rachel on the phone.
"Hey wanker, what's going on?"
Now, Rachel is kind of hot, in that nerd-girl-with-a-rack kind of way. And we've had a few memorable encounters. Just thinking about that, I stiffened up, and started to beat harder.
"Not much, baby -- just thinking about you," I said wryly.
"Yeah, I bet, I can hear you beating it. God, you're unbelievable. Anyway, if you can drop your cock long enough to come down here, I've got something you'll want to see."
"Oh, I know you've got that, Rachel."
"Shut up. I wouldn't come near you. I've got a real boyfriend now." She's seeing some guy who actually wants her for more than her pussy. He actually seems as smart as her, too. And he's not a douche. See, this is why Rachel is awesome.
"Anyway, perv, I'm calling you because I know you're a perv, and there's something here I know that you'll want to see. I just called Fred, and he's on his way down."
"What, to the candy factory? Are you at work?"
"Yeah, I have to do some inventory today, so there's not too many people here. You think I'd want people to know I hang around with you?"
"What the hell are you gonna show me at the candy factory?"
"Listen, perv, either show or don't. I'll be here for a couple hours." And she hung up.

The hell? Is this some weird come on? No -- that's not like Rachel. When she wants it, you know. Anyway, she's not a girl to waste somebody's time, so I pulled on my jeans, lit a cigarette, and hopped in the car.

I get to the candy factory, which is just a boring brick building in an industrial park, and she buzzes me in. She's standing in the reception area with a clipboard. She's wearing a baseball jersey and jeans, and those rectangle glasses. "I see you made it, perv. No, don't touch me. Where the hell is Fred?"
"How should I know? You know how Fred is." Fred, Rachel and I used to hang out. And by hang out, I mean we had a lot of drunk threesome sex.
"Okay, whatever. Come on back here. You're gonna love this." We walked back through the factory area, which seemed to be shut down for the weekend, to some rooms that had a lot of drying racks. In the corner was some kind of black mannequin.
"So, this was supposed to be for the company's thirtieth anniversary -- a woman made entirely of chocolate. They were going to feature it at the annual shareholders meeting." And it was pretty much that -- a voluptuous chocolate statue, wearing a negligee made of some kind of frosting. Rachel rolled her eyes. "I don't know whose dumb idea it was, but when Jennifer, that cast-iron bitch in marketing heard about it, she shut down the whole thing -- she's afraid that the Winkerton Candy Company will get flagged as the bunch of pervs they are."
I'm already bored. "You dragged me down here to look at a chocolate statue? She's not even that hot."
"Oh, like that's ever stopped you before." She had me on that. "Anyway, I'm supposed to dispose of it, and I was just going to break it up, and throw it away... but then an image of you fucking the thing came into my head, and I couldn't stop laughing."
"So, you brought me down here to mock me? Is that it?"
"No, dumbass. I know you -- you'd fuck an electric outlet if you could get your dick in there. I brought you down here because I want to see you fuck this thing."
"Screw you, Rachel."
"Nope... not today. Today, you fuck that statue."
"Shut up."
"Oh come on, Lambert," she said, putting on her baby voice, "won't you fuck that wittow old statue for little Rachel-Wachel?" She rubbed up against me, started rubbing my jeans, and gave me a long tongue kiss. "Please? Oh, I can feel how hard you are... tell you what... I'll get you started..." She unzipped my pants, pulled them down, got to her knees, and started blowing me. That girl knows how to suck a dick. "There -- nice and hard, and oooh, dripping already!" She stood up, and peeled off my t-shirt. "There, you and miss chocolate pussy are ready to go. Doesn't she look delicious? I'll give the two of you some privacy." And before I could say anything, she trotted out of the room, and closed the door behind me. Only then did I realize she had taken my clothes with her.
"God, she's a crazy bitch," I thought. And then I started thinking about whether to wait for her, or chase her, or what. Then I heard my stomach growl. I looked down at my growling stomach, and my erect cock, and couldn't help laughing as I looked over at my African Princess, the obvious answer to both problems. "Well, sweet thing," I said, laughing out loud, "let's check you out."
Really, it was a pretty amazing statue. Imagine a black Jessica Rabbitt, standing on tiptoe, wearing a yellow frosting negligee. I walked in a circle around it. She had her eyes closed, and was leaning over just a little, lips parted for a kiss. Beautiful tits and ass, and long, smooth legs. She even had long beautiful hair. "Well, sugar -- how about a kiss?" I put my lips against hers and stuck my tongue in her mouth, and what the hell?! Her mouth was filled with soft chocolate, and I could swear I felt a smooth gummy tongue in there. I couldn't help it, I started sucking on her face, and swallowing the chocolate that came out. "Damn, bitch! That was some kiss!" I kissed her again, and this time put my hand on the hard frosting on her tit. It crackled, and the frosting broke off in my hand, revealing a perfectly formed breast. A chocolate breast was more than I could resist, and I put my mouth over it and started sucking. It was sweet, and delicate, and melting in my mouth. I had chocolate and candy all over my face and hands. I started just eating the rest of the negligee, crunching the candy in my teeth, and giving her little nibbles all over. I don't eat a lot of candy, but I never wanted to stop eating this. Once I had the negligee mostly gone, I took another look at her: She had marks from where I'd been licking and sucking, but she was mostly intact. And then I thought, what about her pussy? Whoever made this thing gave that a LOT of attention. It looked perfect, even with chocolate pubes and a glistening chocolate clit. And it smelled... I don't know how to say it... it smelled like a candy pussy! And it was already glistening and wet, and I couldn't help it, I stuck my tongue in. It was like nothing else I've ever tasted in my life. The whole world melted away, and nothing existed but this hot, wet, chocolate pussy, that was dripping some kind of sweet hot goo somewhere between fudge, and maple syrup, god, I can't describe it, but all I wanted to do was lick and lick and lick that pussy. Then, suddenly, I realized I wasn't alone... and I'm thinking, Rachel, if you're here, please come fuck this thing with me. But it wasn't Rachel! It's the statue, and it's alive, and moaning with pleasure! It grabs my head and holds it against its pussy again, and so, obediently, I keep licking and licking. She sits on my chest, and pins me, and keeps grinding that delicious pussy into my face. With each moan of pleasure, there is another gush of caramel or fudge or honey into my mouth and throat -- its so good, that I almost don't realize that I'm drowning! My nose mouth and throat are completely filled with her hot melting love sauce, and my head is literally buried in her -- panicking, I jump up, and clear my airways. She is lying on her back in a puddle of her own juices, with a pouty look -- "Please, Lambert -- don't stop -- have some more..." and dipping her fingers into her chocolate pussy, she licks the sauce from her fingers. "Please, come down here and fuck me." I'm so freaked out, I just stare at this. What the hell is happening? This is impossible! But she doesn't care, and wetting her hands on her pussy, she reaches up with her delicate fingers, and wraps them around my cock, sliding them up and down, staring at my cock like it was a wonder of the far east. Up on her knees, she takes my cock in her mouth, and it was the smoothest thing I've ever felt. It felt like she had four tongues wrapped around it in there, and I just started fucking her head. Sometimes she would wince a little, and I saw that MY COCK HAD BROKEN THROUGH THE BACK OF HER HEAD! But as soon as I would pull it back, somehow the breaks would close up again. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, and thrusting forward, I cracked right through the back of her skull, and spurted come all over her back, and her ass.
"Oh, no, no, no..." she said. "That's no good. Little Lambert needs to give me the cream filling I need. Please Lambert, tell me you have more." She actually was crying little chocolate tears.
"Yes," I panted, "I have more."
"Oh, Goody!" She shouted, and slammed me down on the ground, hard, on my back, knocking the wind right out of me. She jumped in the air, and with a demonic grin, SLAMMED her pussy down onto my dick. She then started fucking me like a bat out of hell, moaning and screaming, and bouncing up and down faster than I'd ever been fucked in my life. As she fucked me, moaning and and bouncing, she started rubbing her chocolate tits, and white marshmallow started dripping out of them -- she squeeze them both, hard, and sprayed marshmallow into my mouth, and then fell on me for a kiss. Four tongues, like gummy worms, filled my mouth, and I was choking again on her syrup and sauce. Unable to breathe, and unable to move, because she had me pinned, I bit off one of the tongues, but another quickly took its place. Strugging and straining, I couldn't believe it -- I was going to die fucking some kind of chocolate demon doll. I started thinking that maybe, if I could come, that would end this, but on my second time, it can take me twenty minutes or more, even when I'm trying to come, and I know I can't hold my breath that long. Just as I was starting to black out, she took her face off of mine, and screamed! Once I could blink the chocolate from my eyes to see what was going on, I realized that while she was riding my pole, Fred was here, too, and was fucking her up the ass! She seemed almost paralyzed with joy, her face frozen in an "O", making a low, guttural howl.
"Fred!" I shouted, "thank God you're here!"
"I don't know what the hell this is," he shouted back, "but damn if I don't want a piece of it!"
She suddenly became angry. "Shut up, the two of you! Fuck me! Please, please fuck me!"
She started to orgasm, and hard -- it felt like pop rocks in there, and as she started to squeeze, Fred and I started to moan in unison, as we've done many times before, and as we both came into her, she exploded into pure liquid -- like a giant water balloon, filled with hot fudge.
We both lay there, on our backs, panting, covered in chocolate. The whole room was covered in chocolate, like some kind of chocolate bomb had exploded.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Rachel, as she stormed in. "Fred, when did you get here? What did you bastards do? Who is going to clean all this up?"
We got out of there, fast.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Dog Show

It was a miserable day for twenty reasons I don't even want to go into. I knew two things: I had to get away, and if I didn't put my dick into something, there was going to be trouble. There was a message on my machine: "Hi, Lambert -- this is Sandy -- remember me, from Don's party?"

Did I? I'm not sure -- oh, wait, sure... I think so, anyway. She was this tight-ass chick who kept talking about her dogs. Even though she was young, I remember thinking that she was destined to be an old maid who primly walked her dogs every day, and that I didn't think she'd mind that.

"Well, I remembered you saying how you liked dogs, and the Westminster Dog Show is on tonight -- if you want to come over and watch it with me, give me a call."

The hell? Did I say that? I mean, I don't hate dogs or anything, but why does she think I'm a dog person? Thinking back, I had it mind to try to get her in the sack, and I probably said all kinds of stuff. Whatever. What kind of girl invites someone over to watch TV for a first date? The answer is: A girl who wants to get fucked. Tight-ass, here I come!

I ring the doorbell, and instantly hear barking, and then scuffling, and then her shouting at the dogs to be quiet. The door opens, and there she is -- oh, yeah, now I really remember her. Medium length curly brown hair, little glasses, kind of gangly and awkward, wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants. Yeah, typical dog girl. "Hi Lambert! Come on in! Let me introduce you to my puppies!" God. If I get out of here without fucking this woman at least twice, it will *not* have been worth it.

"This is Shasta, and this is Joffrey." Two eager white dogs with big fluffy tails looked at me and panted. What are those called again? "They're my precious little Samoyeds! Yes they are! Aren't you two so precious!" Oh man. I'm never going to make it through this. Maybe I better leave. "Well, come on in, and sit down! The show is going to start in just a few minutes." We head over to a couch in surprisingly good condition -- most houses with dogs have ruined couches, in my experience. But this one is soft leather, and praise be, there isn't dog hair everywhere. The house is really tidy -- it figures that Sandy would be a neat freak. I'm getting the sinking feeling that she really is interested in someone to watch the dog show with, and nothing else.

She fixes us some drinks, and we make small talk over the commercials. The dogs lie quietly nearby. Just as the credits start, the phone rings. "Figures, right?" she laughs. "I'll be right back." She goes out of the room, and I start wondering what I'm doing here. The only way I'm going to get into dog-girl's pants tonight is if I knock her over the head, and fucking an unconscious girl is not worth the jail time. But, whatever. Miracles happen, right? Maybe a few more of these scotch and sodas, and she'll loosen up. Sandy comes back in the room. "Lambert, I'm really sorry about this, but that was my sister on the phone. She's having emotional problems, and I need to go over and talk to her."

"It's okay," I say, relieved to be getting out of here. "I'll come back some other time."

"Oh, no!" she says, "Look, I'll be back in a half hour, maybe forty-five minutes tops. Just watch the show, and fill me in on what happens when I get back, okay? Really, I'll be quick."

She doesn't really stop to see if I agree -- she's out the door. Great. Well, whatever. I pour myself another drink, and watch the show. Man, there are some weird looking dogs. After a minute, I think, screw this, and I start switching channels. Sandy has a surprisingly wide array of channels, and I settle on some soft core porn on Showcase. It's pretty hot, two chicks with huge racks in a hot tub, and I start to rub myself while I watch it. One of them starts panting and moaning, so I unzip my pants, and just start beating off in her living room.

Then I notice that one of the dogs (they look identical to me) is sitting up, and looking at me. I feel kind of weird having a dog watch me jack off, and I figure I better save it up anyway, in case Sandy has something more in mind than the dumb dog show. He comes over and sits down, rubbing his head against my hand. Whatever. I scratch his head. He pinches his eyes shut, and rolls his neck back, like he's getting some kind of a massage. Suddenly, he turns, and leaps up on me, and I almost spill my drink. What the hell? Gah! Then I realize -- this dumb dog is humping my leg. I shove him off of me. He just sits there panting and smiling at me. God, I hate when dogs do that. Then, just as I'm finally settled, he leaps up on me again, pumping away. "Would you cut it out!" I shout at him, and grabbing his collar, I lead him into the kitchen and shut the door.

On the TV, the two chicks with the huge tits are dripping honey on each other, and licking it off. It's absolutely exquisite, and I quickly regain a huge hard-on. Deciding I don't care if Sandy comes back, I whip it out again, and start slapping it to beat the band. Now I realize the other dog is looking at me. God damn it. Fuck Sandy, and fuck these dogs. "What, bitch?" I say to her, still beating my meat, "You want a piece of this?" The dog actually walks over and starts SNIFFING MY BALLS. "Are you fucking kidding me, dog?" She (this is, what, Shasta?) nuzzles her fuzzy head and neck against my cock and balls. "What is it, dog? You want me to come on you? Because I will -- I don't care! I'll come right in your dog face!" And as I keep jacking off, the damned dog actually starts LICKING MY BALLS. Like, wrapping her tongue under them, and licking them, with her head turned sideways. "God damn!" I shout at her. Fine, some dog wants to help me jack off, I've got no objections. I keep pounding away, and she keeps licking. It starts to tickle, and I laugh, and push her away, but she looks up at me, with this weird, come-hither look. I'm like, "What dog? You want to suck this dick?" And almost like she understands me, she tips her head up, opens her mouth, and moves her tongue out over her lower teeth. I stand there, dumbly, with my dick in my hand, having a hard time believing what I'm about to do. Fuck it, I figure. If this dog wants to suck my dick, it's a better friend than anyone else around here. And I carefully lay it on top of the dog's tongue. It feels surprisingly soft and velvety, like a piece of ham, or like when you rub the bottom of your cock on a girl's slit without putting it in. Shasta closes her mouth a little, and while I feel the pressure of her teeth, she is incredibly gentle, and then her tongue goes to work. To my startled surprise, she wraps that tongue around my dick like a stripe around a candy cane, and starts swishing it every which way, wet and slippery with dog drool. I have to grab the coffee table to keep from falling down. It feels amazing, but it's incredibly awkward leaning over her like this, and I realize that I should just lie down on the floor, and so I do. She steps over me, and keeps this doggy deep throat going, opening her jaws wide, and bobbing her head up and down on my dick. The whole time, her big fluffy tail is wagging crazily, fanning the whole room. I'm just leaning back, and moaning, and shouting, because it's unlike anything I've ever felt before, and then suddenly, she stops. I look up, wondering what's going on, and she is just looking back at me, even though she still straddles my legs. She shifts her back legs, And then I realize I'm looking straight at her cunt -- It's maybe six inches in front of my face. The damn bitch is PRESENTING! Well, fuck it, why not -- why not fuck a god damn dog? But can I even find the cunt on a dog? I slide out from under her, and she holds her position. Feeling around under her fur, I find it with my finger -- it's small, but slick and wet, and when I touch it, she whines a little. I slip my finger in a little ways, and she pushes on it. I rub it in little circles and she tenses up in ecstasy. Fine, I think -- let's do this. I remove my finger, and guide my dick under her, and push it against her little dog cunt. It's INCREDIBLY tight, and she strains and makes a half howling, half growling noise. Fortunately, my dick is still very slippery from all the dog slobber, and it goes in. The next thing I know, I am gripping both of her back legs, and fucking as hard as I can. She starts howling, and I howl right along with her. "God damn it, dog! I'm going to fuck you into last week! I'm going to fuck you till we both bleed!" At one point, in my excitement, I slip out, and get an idea. I stand up. "Lie down!" She lies down. I roll her onto her back, like I was going to rub her belly, but I climb on top of her, missionary style. She LOVES it. Her huge fuzzy tail is all waving over my ass, while I pound away at her, my naked body against her white fur, her hot breath on my neck. I hear scratching and barking from the kitchen, and realize that Joffrey must be going crazy! "Yeah, Joffrey!" I shout, "I'm fucking your woman!" She keeps groaning and panting, and I just keep fucking her. I can tell I'm going to come pretty soon, but not yet. I hear the kitchen door bust open, and feel Joffery, suddenly, on my back, his teeth on my neck. I feel sure I am going to die, but he is heavy, and I can't really move -- and then, yow! What the hell! I realize that JOFFREY'S DICK HAS GONE UP MY ASS! He is not going to kill me after all, he's just going to fuck me! What-the-fuck-ever! I'm surrounded in fur, with a Samoyed fucking me up the ass from behind while I fuck another one below me. The hot red dick up my ass has overwhelmed my nervous system, and I seem to be able to fuck all night. My eyes closed tight, I just keep fucking, and fucking, and fucking, surrounded in warmth and fur, and grunting and howling. Finally, I feel Shasta's pussy squeeze and tighten, and Joffrey's dick getting very, very hot, and the three of us come at almost exactly the same time, all of us howling and screaming, and making guttural noises that I've never heard anywhere before, me and Joffrey both pumping huge quantities of sperm into places God never intended.

Joffrey dismounts me (thank God), and I roll off of Shasta. I am exhausted, and sore, and have scratches in places I've never had them before, not to mention greasy dog cum up my ass. But both dogs surround me, wagging their tails, and licking my face. Suddenly, I realize, that we aren't alone! Sandy is on the couch, looking right at us, tears running down her face.

"Jesus, Sandy! How long have you been here!" I unconsciously grab some of my clothes, trying to cover myself.

"Oh, my God," is all she can say. "You were FUCKING my dogs."

"Sandy, I'm sorry..." I say reflexively. At this point my mind is numb, and I am unsure of the correct etiquette for the situation.

"It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." I suddenly realize that Sandy is naked. "Have you fucked dogs before?" She asks, in a sultry, sultry voice.

"No," I answer honestly.

"My God," she says, "you were so GOOD at it." When I came in and saw the three of you there, I was shocked at first, but then..." and she actually blushed at this point, "it was so damn hot, that I just wanted to watch you. I was sure you'd notice me in a minute, but you didn't, and I got so wet that I just stripped down and started masturbating on the couch!" She laughed. "I came twice before you stopped, and then I just wanted to watch you! Lambert..." she paused.

"Yes?" I said, cautiously.

"Stand up, drop those clothes. Let me see you."

I did, and looking at her naked, horny body on that leather couch, I started to get hard again. She looked me over, and her hungry eyes rested especially long on my sore, but slowly recovering, cock. Suddenly she made puppy dog eyes, and, one arm around each of her dogs, she spread her legs apart, showing her shiny, fuzzy pussy, said, "Will you fuck us? Please?" There was no way I could say no. I practically jumped on top of her, and as I shoved my tongue down her throat, she returned the favor, her arms wrapping around my back, and legs wrapping around mine. My dick quickly found her pussy, and thrust in, and as I fucked her, I started sucking her nipple, only to realize that Shasta was licking at the other, and that Joffrey was licking voraciously where our cock and pussy came together.

After combinations I never would have thought possible, we all fell asleep in a pile. I woke up a little while later, gathered my things, and snuck out, with only one thought on my mind.

My name is Lambert Devine, and yes, indeed, I am going to fuck the world.